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Posted by
Sleep
promoted 11 months 2 weeks ago, posted 11 months 2 weeks ago
[blog]
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*FIXED
Source is a buddy.
Take notice.
motorcycle
rage
An open letter to every person I meet who finds out I ride a motorcycle
Let me stop you right there, mmmm-kay? I can tell by that little intake of breath what’s coming next. Thank you in advance, but I already know that motorcycles are “dangerous.” After nearly twenty years of riding on the streets, I am aware; telling me now will not be a revelation. It is not an insight into my lifestyle that has remained hidden from me until this, the moment of epiphany when you shine the light of outsider wisdom on my foolhardy choices.
There are ways I can minimize the risk — by riding defensively, riding sober, knowing my own and my machine’s capabilities, etc. — but I also know there are some risks that are simply beyond my control. But you know what? There a lots of risks that are within my control. We’ve become so pathologically risk-averse that for most people it is inconceivable to assume any additional risk no matter how much joy you might get back in return. You want to know what’s truly dangerous? Not taking any risks. Hanging out with like-minded middle-of-the-roaders. Absorbing the same brain-ossifying shit from media factories every day. Jogging. Putting helmets, flotation devices, and auto-deploy epi-pens on your kids every time they leave the house. Passivity. Not paying attention to where your car, or your life, or you country is going.
If you don’t get that, that’s OK. I’m not trying to convert anybody, but here are a few tips to save us both a little aggravation: You don’t need to tell me the horror story about your uncle’s buddy who wiped out his chopper while drag racing at some hooligan rally. That just makes me wish I were talking to your uncle’s buddy instead of you. He sounds pretty cool.
Do not — do NOT — tell me about the time you almost Sausage Creatured a biker because you “couldn’t see him” or he “came out of nowhere.” I have never known a bike to come out of nowhere, but I have seen plenty of cars pull a Crazy Ivan and turn into a lane occupied by a biker or make an impromptu unsignalled left turn in front of an oncoming me. If you’re expecting me to share your outrage at the temerity of bikers to be in the lane you want, you’re more deluded than a goldfish with a passport. I can’t make you see bikes. I can’t make you hang up your phone. They won’t let me mount a .50-caliber machine gun to my bike. So really, there’s not much I can do to change the outcome of your anecdote, so save it for your coreligionists who also have stick-figure families and giant softball stickers with the name “Tailyr” or “Flynn” or “Shyly” on their rear windows.
I do wear a helmet, as a matter of fact, along with other protective gear. But, the fact that you “certainly hope” I wear a helmet is so condescending it makes me want to ride a tricycle completely naked doing doughnuts in your front yard screaming Beastie Boys lyrics at midnight. Trust me, you do not want that. My buttocks are extremely pale and unsightly, especially in moonlight. Please, do not complain about bikes parking in car parking spaces. Where are we supposed to park? If they let us park up on the curb like in Europe, we would totally do that, and precious few parking lots have motorcycle parking areas. Most cops already have a hard-on for bikes, so parking anywhere but in a designated spot is asking to be impounded.
Yes, I know, some bikes have very loud exhaust. Maybe it’s obnoxious, but at least you knew they were there, didn’t you? They say loud pipes save lives. I don’t know if that’s true, because there hasn’t been a serious comprehensive study of motorcycle safety since 1981, the poetically named Hurt Report. And yes, I know, at one point you probably saw some kid riding his 600cc sport bike at 100mph doing a wheelie down the freeway. He’s a squid, and he’ll either grow up or just take care of himself. Some bikers do crazy things. Anti-social things. Unsanctioned things. I don’t represent him and he doesn’t represent me — that’s the great part of being a biker. I could be a Lowbrow Weirdo or Antoine Predock or Lyle Lovett or just whatever I want to be.
If you’re really so all-fire concerned about my safety, don’t preach at me. Just do me this one favor: pay attention when you’re driving. Keep your greasy fingers off your touch-screen, put down your phone, use your turn signals and lay off the booze before you get on the road with me. You take care of your part and I’ll take care of mine.
But hang-gliding, man, that shit is crazy.
26
eh, It's readable.
eh, It's readable.
^ ^
TAN Sleep
^ ^
TAN Sleep
TANS = Ignorant, oblivious, potential murdering, morons.
TANS = Ignorant, oblivious, potential murdering, morons.
id never get a bike though, cause im shit at driving and get into crashes all the time. A bike would be dangerous for me. I get my freak on with other things.
id never get a bike though, cause im shit at driving and get into crashes all the time. A bike would be dangerous for me. I get my freak on with other things.
You had me at “Tailyr” or “Flynn” or “Shyly” on their rear windows.
Fuck that's funny.
Alright. TIN/Respek/All that shit. And I'll keep being the only decent woman-driver on the road.
You had me at “Tailyr” or “Flynn” or “Shyly” on their rear windows.
Fuck that's funny.
Alright. TIN/Respek/All that shit. And I'll keep being the only decent woman-driver on the road.
I like biking around. Its the most economical way of experiencing raw unhinged bat shit crazy acceleration around. There is nothing that can compare to a spirited gallop down a motorway or a twisty A-road on a pure sports machine. That being said, as a biker you learn two things; never trust a car/van driver and NEVER TRUST A CAR/VAN DRIVER!
Many a time i've had a near-spill because of some lazy bastard motorist who feels its ok to pull out because they're "running late" or "need to get there quickly". We all use the road, we pay our share of the taxes and 'truck' me at the gall of some road users who get pissed at me for overtaking them at lights... One annoying middle class witch, pulled up alongside me once and complained that my headlight beam was annoying her because it reflected in her rear view mirror, and bitched about why I needed them on during the day... she went on and tried to moan about the excessively loud engine that I had (I had a set of aftermarket cans on). All this at a set of traffic lights...
The simplest thing to do is to never trust any other road user and always remember to nod at your fellow biker...and be as loud and obnoxious as you can, because your life may depend on it.
Superb piece Sleep.
I like biking around. Its the most economical way of experiencing raw unhinged bat shit crazy acceleration around. There is nothing that can compare to a spirited gallop down a motorway or a twisty A-road on a pure sports machine. That being said, as a biker you learn two things; never trust a car/van driver and NEVER TRUST A CAR/VAN DRIVER!
Many a time i've had a near-spill because of some lazy bastard motorist who feels its ok to pull out because they're "running late" or "need to get there quickly". We all use the road, we pay our share of the taxes and 'truck' me at the gall of some road users who get pissed at me for overtaking them at lights... One annoying middle class witch, pulled up alongside me once and complained that my headlight beam was annoying her because it reflected in her rear view mirror, and bitched about why I needed them on during the day... she went on and tried to moan about the excessively loud engine that I had (I had a set of aftermarket cans on). All this at a set of traffic lights...
The simplest thing to do is to never trust any other road user and always remember to nod at your fellow biker...and be as loud and obnoxious as you can, because your life may depend on it.
Superb piece Sleep.
edit: I am not concerned with bikers safety. I am only concerned for mine and other responsible drivers on the road.
edit: I am not concerned with bikers safety. I am only concerned for mine and other responsible drivers on the road.
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don't bother with that one. he's afraid of the boogeyman that's across the sea.
I forgot the name of a douche on shoutwire that said he would intentionally merge lanes, when he see's a biker coming from behind, to get them to fall. Something about his sister dying while driving her truck because of a rider. . . . I can agree with some here though. When you get a jackass on a loud chopper/crotch rocket revving it up while riding between cars on a stopped light, THAT pisses me off and it's fucking stupid as well. . . . that said. I miss my CBR :(
don't bother with that one. he's afraid of the boogeyman that's across the sea.
I forgot the name of a douche on shoutwire that said he would intentionally merge lanes, when he see's a biker coming from behind, to get them to fall. Something about his sister dying while driving her truck because of a rider. . . . I can agree with some here though. When you get a jackass on a loud chopper/crotch rocket revving it up while riding between cars on a stopped light, THAT pisses me off and it's fucking stupid as well. . . . that said. I miss my CBR
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Another virgin afraid of women, I take it. Wolffe would be proud.
Another virgin afraid of women, I take it. Wolffe would be proud.
anyway
i was riding my bike when i was 12 or 13, and it was only used to go to the store and back (this is 20 years ago in a small town in MS) and i was doing 80ish, and i looked down at the tire, and i saw that i maybe had about a maxi pads worth of grip on the road. i went home, parked the bike, and never rode one again. I ride 4 wheelers, do zip lines, dune buggies, etc. but no matter how much safety gear i slap on, i can only think of that maxi pad's worth of grip and how much women have problems with the damned things.
anyway
i was riding my bike when i was 12 or 13, and it was only used to go to the store and back (this is 20 years ago in a small town in MS) and i was doing 80ish, and i looked down at the tire, and i saw that i maybe had about a maxi pads worth of grip on the road. i went home, parked the bike, and never rode one again. I ride 4 wheelers, do zip lines, dune buggies, etc. but no matter how much safety gear i slap on, i can only think of that maxi pad's worth of grip and how much women have problems with the damned things.
[/quote]
I know it's legal. Heck i used to do it going 30mph while traffic was stopped. and this was barely my second month riding ever. But yeah I meant when they're stopped in between cars and they're just punching the throttle while in neutral for no damn reason the type of throttle that "reminds" them that they're on a motorcycle. THAT's what gets on my nerves. Especially when my windows are down. Shit hurts the ears.
I know it's legal. Heck i used to do it going 30mph while traffic was stopped. and this was barely my second month riding ever. But yeah I meant when they're stopped in between cars and they're just punching the throttle while in neutral for no damn reason the type of throttle that "reminds" them that they're on a motorcycle. THAT's what gets on my nerves. Especially when my windows are down. Shit hurts the ears.
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lol!
lol!