After having been harassed interminably by all the other deities, I have finally deigned to create myself a blog.  I've no doubt that it will serve no purpose other than consume precious time that could be better spent being wrothful towards hypothetical worshippers that I am yet to create.  The Pagan gods have been making fun of me though and I'll be damned if I let them get the better of me!  But they'll see soon enough; I'll show them how this alpha & omega rolls!

Come to think of it, what exactly do you use blogs for? I know Shiva uses his to show off his holiday photos but I think that if you've seen one worm hole you've seen them all. Since I am the supreme being I will decree that this blog is to be used solely to document the creation of all existence. Let's see Thor try to compete with that!

So let's start at the beginning. I was woken today by falling out of bed. I hit the floor quite hard and it made a pretty big bang. I should probably go round to the neighbour's later and explain what the noise was—they're only going to come up with their own theories about it otherwise. Actually, forget it. They'll probably never give it another thought after today. I had bigger sea-dwelling animals to fry anyway—I had fallen out of bed and onto my Lego, completely destroying the city I had created. So I decided to rebuild it bigger and better.

I stopped and looked down 10 hours later and realised I had inadvertently created the Heaven and the Earth. Which was nice. I'm not entirely happy with my mountains yet and I still need to dig around for more 2x2 bricks to finish my tectonic plates.

After I was done I thought it would be a good idea to invent water because I hadn't showered in practically forever. Incidentally, this makes me the first being to have ever masturbated in the shower. I hope people bare that in mind whenever their children ask them why it's raining.

After my shower I felt pretty hungry so I went downstairs to make some cereal. I opened my fridge door—accidentally creating light—and lo! I said "let there be milk on my cereal" and there was milk! And I saw that it was good!

(By the way, I sure hope people pay attention to this. I'd hate to be misquoted later on.)

In fact that's pretty much all I've done today. I called the light "day" and I'm tentatively referring to its absence as "night". I'm not settled on that but we'll see how I feel later. Since the light went away I've been feeling really sleepy. I'm currently sat in bed in my Superman pyjamas and I think I could fall asleep at any minute. I'll have to stabilise Earth's plates later. I'll do it on Sunday if I have the energy.

Oh yeah, just before I go; has anybody else ever wondered how our calendars work? I said to Venus earlier "what does the B.C. mean in 6000 B.C." and she was like "ha, I've never thought about it." As soon as the Internet gets created I am totally googling it.