promoted 10 years 6 months ago, posted 10 years 6 months ago
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Begin the journey to your home.
White all around, bathed in brightness, nothingness. Without form and thought. But I am conscious of my....omnipotence. I am patiently waiting for nothing. A figure of gold walks silently from the distant horizon of light. I have no fear. I know who he is. He is me. But with a different face. And I am him. A conscious projection of my unconscious coming through to the foreground. My life of forty five years resurrected in such a simple metaphor as this benevolent man ebbing ever closer towards me.
Two minutes ago I came into this world and in that very second I knew I had died. Now I stand not shocked, not even wary of my future because there wasn't one. Nor was there past. But realising everything. I know immediately that this world was and is a mirror representation of my life in the other world, the other crude reality. All there is here now is peace. And tranquility the order of the day. The golden clothed man comes to a halt in front of me. He slowly lifts up his hand and beckons for my reply. But I already know what I am going to do. And so does he. I respond justly and walk towards him. He places his arm around my upper back and we bow our heads in solemn speech with each other as we continue up a narrow path with no bearings or markings.
One day had passed and our tranversed thought and speech comes to an end. I tell the man I have a memory of this time spent. The memory wasn't very vivid. Nor did I recall the experience being very long in time. All I remember is a person of masculine features towering above telling me a story. "I'm sure I was a tot at the time" I told the man. "You were" he replied "You were five".
I stopped, looked up, and tried to think really hard about that moment but could be. In my haste to stop and sort out of my thoughts the man had gone a few feet ahead. His neck creeked and his head turned to face me. I could tell by this awkward motion of the body that he was an old man. Nothing else about him rang true. All that was from him was light. "Come along" he beckoned and ushered me forward once again with his hand. We started walking again and with a few longer strides than my friend I lined my shoulder with his.
"You never told me your name" I said, my eyebrows forced down in a look of perplexment. "I know" he replied confidently.
'And that was the end of that conversation', i thought. With his slightly sharp tongued but very gracious response I decided not to follow it up.
"Why don't we go and see someone" the man asked. "Yes let's. Who though?" I quizzed. "Some-one" he replied. I nodded. His tendency to drag things on and answer questions with philisophical meanderings had not gone unnoticed in that day of walking. But I did not feel anything about it. Just peace. I had heard of certain words before. The word agitation kept coming to my mind but I didn't understand what it was. Most likely it was something....'good'. That was another word that kept creeping up. But I did not understand it either. Just another word to fit that time, if there was such thing. The only way I could describe myself as a whole and my state as a being is a constant hum of peaceful energy. No change.
My thoughts had got the better of me and before I knew it we had walked what seemed like a few miles. Suddenly I began to hear the calm whooshing sound of wind against the fresh sprouting leaves of a budding tree. A few minutes more and the definite pitter patter of a cool stream landing on top of rocks. I had never heard these sounds before but yet seemed so obvious to me. The sound had become just loud enough that I could swear we were standing right on the waters edge. Looking up and down all I could witness was a path of sheer light. I turned to my right and sitting on what seemed like nothing but air was another man, about the same build, height and figure of the man I travelled with. I quickly shifted my eyes to the right to tell my friend. But he was not there. Vanished and forgotten.
Turning back I looked at the man sitting down. No definable features to speak of but the man was not the man I had known previous. I knew this. I cautiously sat down and crossed my legs. Through his bright lit face I could barely glimpse two wonderfully crimson eyes peering back at me. They became brighter and more fiery until I squinted and closed my eyes to protect myself from their brilliance. The lids of my eyes seered in heat of the light. Then in seconds the heat dissipated and I unclenched my eyes, still keeping them closed. I felt a quiet peace enter me. A shudder ran up my spine. One I don't think I had ever experienced before in this world. Or what had been before. I liked it. It was new. Up until that point all I had felt was a steady bliss. 'How long have I been here' I pondered. A slight feeling came over me. One my brain interpreted as being confusion. Was that the right word. Whatever it was it passed briefly as I slowly regained composure and blinked my eyes open. The old man was still sittin there. But an object had appeared in front of him, floating motionless in mid air. It was solid, like us but was more wooden in nature. That's what it was. Wood. It was a chess board. Atleast my brain recognised it as a chess board.
"Who do you want to be?" said the old man slowly
"I'll..." before I had time to spurt a second word out of my mouth the chess board turned round and the black chess pieces faced me.
The old man bent down and reached out, grasped the white knight and placed it two spaces up and one right from it's original spot. Leaning back again he grumbled in excited reassurance of himself that he'd made a quite masterful first move. Looking up at the old man his complexion began to change. His spectacular aura of white light slowly gave way to a wretched pasty face with withered vertical lines of age. The look of a man spent years in contemplation of his own thoughts, with nothing but a smile for the outside world. I did not want him to see me linger in wonder at what that face had thought or sought, so I gazed down on to the board and made my first move. Before I had time to even recover my posture and contemplate the move the old man quickly and ferociously snapped at his second piece and shifted it, without even a word or sound. I was taken aback by this arrogance. I ruffled the sides of my mouth and hissed. Minutes past and I could see that the old man was becoming quite impatient at my delay. I could have used this to my advantage of course but I daren't not. I had only met this man and I was not fully aware yet of his nature. Reaching out my hand cautiously I placed my pointer finger on the bishop. The old man shuffled his weight forward in anticipation of my next move. I moved the bishop.
My next few moves were planned. But so were his. It was to be a match of dons, of sweat and motion of minds. In this world time did not exist. But in this world and playing this game I almost had a sense of passing. It came in throes. Usually when I was out manned, out foxed and out of place. How was he beating me. I was a master chessman at one point, i thought. I knew. Wasn't I? That word confusion started it's regular turning in my head again. The white light was beginning to seer the back of my head once again. I wiped my brow. Getting hot and flustered now. Where am I? Where am I? GOD WHERE AM I? Eyes glazing over, my heart palpitating so hard I felt my head jolt forward and back. Thud, thud,thud. My hands clammy. Trying my best to look half way sober I looked at the old man. He was opening his mouth and saying something. But I couldn't make it out. My ears were popping. All I could hear were the dull thuds as my fists thumped down on the chess board, spilling ever piece to the white non-existant floor below. Collapsing in shock. Darkness. Darkness.
beep, beep, beep, beep
The chimed sound of a mechanical instrument. Opening my eyes to a bleary but bright world. Adjust my eyes. Wipe your eyes. The white light again. I took my hand and wiped my teary eyes. It was not the magnificent bright light of past. As my eyes focused I became more and more aware and depressed. It was a ceiling light. My head began to throb. I groaned as I propped myself up in the bed I was lying in. Looking left and right I realised I was in a hospital. A newspaper was on the bedside table to the left. I could see the date. It was a day after the last time I could remember. I could recollect nothing else. No witness of my passing. But wait! The last thing I remember was leaving the office and going to the cafe. I was waiting in the queue. And then...nothing. Was that my last thought? What did I dream. Why was it so vivid. It can't have been real.
A nurse walked over, the clicking and clacking of her high heels highly obvious. "Nurse what happened to me" I asked. "You had a stroke. You were out for a day. You need rest. Now lie back please". I did as the nurse told me, yawning in approval. I was ever so tired. Babbling to myself incoherently I slowly drifted off. Drifting off to sleep now. Happy as I was going back to sleep. I wanted to visit that place once again.