promoted 8 years 7 months ago, posted 8 years 7 months ago
| 114 views
So society has collapsed, but you live in a country with gun control. How can you possibly defend yourself?
WARNING - ATTEMPTING TO REPLICATE ANYTHING THAT YOU READ HERE WILL HURT YOU REALLY BADLY. NOTHING THAT YOU SEE HERE IS SAFE TO DO, AND YOU'D BE A FOOL TO TRY. IF YOU ENJOY LOSING LIMBS, BEING PERMANENTLY BLINDED, CORRODING TO DEATH FROM THE INSIDE OUT, OR SUFFOCATING ON POISONOUS GAS, BY ALL MEANS PROCEED. IF YOU VALUE YOUR LIFE AND THE LIVES OF THOSE AROUND YOU, -<NEVER EVER TRY ANY OF THESE AT HOME. EVER!>-
Is gun control out of control in your country? Are you afraid Obama's gonna take away your weapons? Fear not. One can still defend one's self without firearms.
Here is a very short list of some pseudo-weapons that can be used in the event of societal collapse, anarchy or post-nuclear dystopia. Before proceeding, please re-read the introductory warning.
I'm compiling these from memory - see if you can guess the original sources!
Antifreeze + Chlorine = Fire
Somebody told me this when I was a wee lad, and I didn't believe a word of it. Add two things together and they burn without having to be lit? Witchcraft! But sure enough, we tried it out one day and it worked.
WARNING - This reaction produces both incredible heat and a corrosive chemical. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME.
Liquid Plumber + Tinfoil = Hindenburg
This is an interesting one, especially if you aren't particularly attached to your eyebrows. You'll need a nice strong GLASS liquor bottle, some tinfoil, and Liquid Plumber brand drain declogger. You may want to consider gloves and eye protection too. NEVER attempt this indoors unless you enjoy suffocating to death on noxious gases. Oh, and if you try this with a plastic bottle or a thin glass bottle, you will get hurt. Badly.
Pour a good bit of liquid plumber into the liquor bottle. Have a balloon standing by, because you have to be quick here. Take some tin foil and ball it up into 1 cm3 balls. Now add the tinfoil balls to the liquid plumber and put the opening of the balloon over the mouth of the bottle. The balloon will begin to fill with gas. When you're done, tie off the balloon and repeat until you have the desired amount of balloons.
Note that if you use too much ingredients, the liquid will overflow from the bottle, spit up bits of liquid, shatter the bottle, burn your body, or all of the above.
The reaction between the tinfoil and the liquid plumber produces quite a bit of heat, but it also produces hydrogen gas. You've just finished capturing said gas within your balloons. As soon as fire touches the balloon, it will erupt into a great big fireball. Use 20 balloons and you'll get an epic, Hindenburg-style inferno.
WARNING - The ingredients alone are dangerous, never mind the results. You should be wearing nothing short of a full hazmat suit when doing this. Seriously, a hundred things could go wrong here. If you try this, you have a very real chance of being blinded, then suffocated, then blown up.
Instant Cold Pack + Diesel Fuel = Oklahoma
You've probably seen those "cold pack" jobbies that they have in first aid kits. You smack them, then they turn cold. Have you ever opened one up? If you have, then you know that inside there is a small pouch of water and some crystally stuff. Toss the water - that crystally stuff is pure ammonium nitrate, and it's what you're looking for.
Add a bit of diesel fuel to the crystal (don't saturate it!). A dab'll do ya. If you add enough heat to this mixture (200F should do it), the ammonium nitrate will break down, releasing oxygen. This will dramatically increase the rate at which the diesel fuel burns - so much so that all you'll see is an explosion.
WARNING - A variation of this mixture was used to destroy a buidling in Oklahoma City, so DO NOT FUCK WITH THIS SHIT. MERELY POSSESSING THIS STUFF WILL RESULT IN YOUR ARREST. Unless you want homeland security probing the depths of your colon for hours on end, Do. Not. Attempt. This.
Tennis Ball + Matches + Duct Tape = BANG
Go and buy a few boxes of those strike-anywhere matches. You'll need quite a few. Now take your tenis ball and make an incision into it. Start snapping the heads off of the matches and putting them into the tennis ball. Repeat until the tennis ball is full. Once full, carefully wrap the tennis ball in duct tape. If you throw this ball hard against something like a brick wall, it will explode noisily.
WARNING: The act of stuffing match heads into an almost-full tennis ball can cause the whole works to blow up in your face. The friction created from match heads rubbing together is what makes this work, but it can easily be your undoing if you aren't careful. KIDS HAVE BLOWN THEIR FUCKING HANDS OFF DOING THIS. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Gasoline + Beer Bottle = Rocket?
This is perhaps the simplest of all. You'll need a nice big campfire for this one, preferably one that is mostly glowing coals. You'll also need a beer bottle, the cap for said beer bottle, and some gasoline.
First fill the bottle halfway with gasoline. Screw the cap on tight, and shake it to ensure that gasoline doesn't leak out of the cap. Submerge the bottle in water and clean off every last little bit of gasoline.
Now place the bottle, mouth side down, into the fire. You can kind of angle it so that the bottom of the bottle doesn't point straight up if you want. Now get back at least 50 feet.
As the bottle heats up, the pressure will increase. Eventually the cap will pop off and gasoline will burst forth, igniting immediately and propelling the bottle into the air on a pillar of fire.
WARNING - A million things can go wrong here. The heat of the fire could break the bottle, a weak point in the bottle could fail before the cap pops off, you could use too much gas or too little, etc etc etc. Any of these misfires could result in your death. In fact, if it works as intended, it could still kill you, your friends, or burn down a house or forest depending on where the flaming bottle lands.
Do-It -Yourself Pepper Spray
In America, you can buy that shit at a conren store. In Canada, less-than-lethal weapns are prohibited, so here's one for you Canadians.
Go to the grocery store and buy a shitload of habanero peppers. Scotch Bonnet pepper work well, and they're usually there year-round.
Put them in a blender and grind them up them. One that's done, you're going to want to press the mixture over a screen or filter in order to remove the pulp and solid bits. In the end, you should be left with liquid that has no solids in it at all.
Break out your Super Soaker and load it with this liquid. You now have a pepper sprayer that has phenomenal range.
WARNING - This is STILL illegal in Canada. Do this at your own risk.
Do-It-Youself Stun Gun
Again, stun guns are illegal in Canada. Fortunately, disposable cameras aren't.
Find youself a disposable camera with a flash. Take all those gay pictures that you always wanted to take, then remove the paper casing and remove the film. You'll want to remove the battery for now as well.
Near the flash, you'll see two metal leads one atop the other. If you press these leads together, the flash will go off AND you'll get knocked on your ass by a wicked electric shock. Cool, huh?
You can remove the leads and, using some wire, relocate them elsewhere on the camera (one of the sides). Move them wherever, just ensure that the leads are still one atop the other.
When you press it against someone, the leads will make contact and the energy stored in the flash's capacitor will discharge into said someone. I've inadvertently tried this on myself, and it knocked me off of my feet.
WARNING - This was not designed to be used on people. I don't know how much energy is discharged. THIS COULD EASILY KILL YOU.
I said it before and I'll say it again - everything above is illegal, and everything above is almost guaranteed to do serious bodily harm to everyone involved. Do not take these warnings lightly.