promoted 7 years 7 months ago, posted 7 years 7 months ago
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ManBirdPig Flu has hit our fine city. In a press release our Kosher Mayor has proposed a by-law to register all sick people. I called him a dumbass though so he changed his mind. Mmateri has also been spotted at the farm furiously screwing a pile of pigs. Leading to some speculation that he may
So....It is upon us. Many wondered what form it would take. A bird, a plane? Alas it was neither. The diseased culprit is one of our best friends. The pig. We had our first case in Edmonton recently. Panic abounded. People ran. Old ladies screamed. There was general panic all throughour the city. It led to the question where did this ManBirdPig Flu come from, and why have we not noticed it until now.
Our mayor recently floated a proposal to have a the sick people registered. I talked to him and called him a dumbass though so he changed his mind. He was then informed that one of our citizens may have been the cause of it all. Mmateri is his name. Yes. Our very own Mmateri. You see it has been uncovered that he has been having a relationship with a number of pigs, and he has been having unprotected sex with all of them. I uncovered this late one night while I was cattle rustling in the night. I heard a noise. When I went to investigate there was Mmateri Porking some Pork. I always susected it myself. Given his rather large girth, and gingeresque features. It's actually been proven in a study that gingers are part swine themselves. Discusted I left. I never said anything to anyone. Now though with this possible pandemic on our doorsteps I must break my silence. We must uncover this Pork Porkers huge ginger ass for the spreader of disease he is. He told everyone he was injured. Has anyone stop to wonder how he got injured? Well I know. Yes. Pig fucking.
So our mayor is taking this incident in his typical passe fashion. When told aboot Mmateri he merely stated, "Who cares aboot Mmateri, Nova kicked his ass,"
Although it is true I cannot stop him from infecting us all. Also being that our mayor is Jewish he has no fear of this ManBirdPig Flu as Jews don't eat pork. Bringing up another question. Why is our mayor allowing this to spread unchecked? Also why was it pigs. The main animal that Jews fear. Next to NAZIs of course. Well I'll tell you why.
See the pig flu is a Jewish conspiracy akin to the 9/11, Israel, and the switch to the new digital high definition cable format. It reeks of the Masoods doing. After all with Jews infecting the one animal they never will contact the disease can be free to spread to All the rest of the good and pious non-Jewish people.
Just like the Jewish owner of the WTC towers suddenly re-inforced his insurance days before 9/11 now they have done this far more dastardly deed. Using Mmateris unquenchable lust for pigs they have set in motion a series of events that will eventually kill us all. While at the same time eliminating their most formidable enemy. The angry NAZI Pig.
It all would have gone unnoticed though. If not for my chancing upon that sweaty hunk of flesh, Mmateri, at the farmyard. As with all great plans though the smallest of things can lead to it's downfall. The Jews though they thought of everything, but they missed one small detail. Something that most people know, and the reason why coupling with our fine bacony little buddies is not a good idea. See I was told aboot this long ago. When I was at the farm yard I heard that little porker squeal when Mmateri violated him. Possibly with a 110 lbs salmon.
You never have sex with pigs because they'll always squeal on you. Thankfully Mmateri has not learned this lesson, and his evil plan will now be stopped.