promoted 8 years 3 months ago, posted 8 years 5 months ago
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I lied next to my girlfriend in bed and...
On one of the last nights of the school year, I lied in bed next to my girlfriend. We had just finished a rousing course of intercourse in which i performed like a Big Champ (wink*). While romantically spooning her and slowly getting ready for a second round of romping, she began to talk about the beginning of our sex life.
She went on a long monologue detailing how good it felt to have sex with someone she loved. I said, "Yes baby, I know" and kissed her on the neck. She began trying to start another love-making session when I cut her off, mid-romantic-sentence and I shouted,
"I am going to get rich. I am going to invent a device that can make the "pull out method" a hell of a lot easier."
She became furious. I interrupted her long romantic saga with a quick jut of some perverted entrepreneurial pervert scheme. I calmed her down with some "Oh baby"'s and some carefully placed kisses.
She started talking dirty but I had to exclaim, I had to tell the world,
"I will call it the catcher!"
Yes, the Catcher! I thought, jesus Romanov, you are a goddam genius. Your girlfriend will love you for making millions of sex lives more comfortable and less awkward, not to mention the fact that you will be rich enough to keep her happy.
Another mistake, I began to describe the details of my plan,
"Okay so ya see, there will be a latex glove on the thumb and pointer finger of the man. In between the fingers, the latex will form webbing like on a duck's foot, ya see where I am going? So when you are having unprotected sex, when you are about to finish, you can just pull out and instead of finishing on odd places or rushing the girls head down over your cock, you can just "catch" it with the Catcher! Ya see, when the pointer finger and thumb are pushed together, a sensor realizes the dire situation and expands the webbing into a large latex screen to catch the jizz!"
She backhanded my chest. "You are fucking kidding me!"
"No baby, wait, I haven't started inventing! I won't! I promise! I'm sorry!"
"Catch your own fucking cum, you sick bastard! You taste like SHIT!"
And that was the last I saw of her. She left my room, my house, my neighborhood, my part of town. I will call her today and tell her she is the perfect catcher of my cum. I think that is what offended her. I love her.