promoted 8 years 6 months ago, posted 8 years 6 months ago
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I awoke momentarily to curse the Coco Puffs.
I awoke momentarily to curse the Coco Puffs. As I laid on my back, I felt the bile rise into my mouth. Two bowls of the delightful breakfast treat co-mingled, or rather atop a pair of hastily prepared liver sausage sandwiches which in turn rested atop a large, although specifically unknown quantity of Miller High Life.
In a flash of consciousness, I thought to rise and deposit the vile concoction in an appropriate place. However, the dark dreamless sleep of alcohol overcame me. … I died.
I awoke, I believe, once more the instant before I passed to do some quick math to determine if my insurance coverage would do well by my family. It would. … Then I died.
I was floating. Floating above the bed over my lifeless body. I looked upon my own contorted face below, spattered with half digested breakfast food, and large slabs of liver sausage which, oddly enough, appeared unchanged. I had to look away as I felt I would gag. Weird, I thought, .. that a spectre would be prone to a physical malady.
I began to swim in the air. I thought I might fly. Perhaps it would come later, but for now, I could only propel my entity about with a breaststroke accompanied by an exaggerated frog kick.
I swam to the garage. What a mess. I meant to clean it. I should have put fuel stabilizer in the generator, I meant to do that too. Now it may not start when it needs to and the basement will
flood. The lawn tractor needs a new battery and the blade sharpened. My son knows how to jump start it but the lawn will look like a bad haircut.
I swam to the shop. Mrs Kronke is gonna be pissed her brakes aren’t done. It would have been an easy money day. My Monte Carlo is in the last bay. I still need some nice tires and wheels along with a rear suspension upgrade. The body needs work too.
I swam to my wake. Fucking A, depressing. “Really”, I screamed in a silent ghost voice, “it’s all ok, but for god’s sake, check the generator.”
“God’s sake”, … funny. I haven’t seen a god. But I exist, or my soul exists or something like that. Maybe this state is the last millisecond of my failing life which my mind has chosen to stretch into eternity.
In any case. I’ll never get the boat running, now. … Fucking Coco Puffs.