How to make some Texas style DBAP Salsa
OK, so I know everyone loves these recipe/blog things so I’m going to join in on the fun! Here is a recipe for some hot salsa! I call this salsa DBAP Salsa. (Don’t be a pussy)
First off you need a food processor or blender. Those magic bullet things work wonders. I used a food processor and it turned out the best though.
Start by preparing the onion and chopping it up. Doesn’t have to be pretty or even all chopped up, I mean fucking hell, its about to go into a god damn blender. Toss it on in and grab you the garlic
Next, prepare the garlic cloves, smash them good and chop in a semi-mince them. Use 3 – 5 to your liking. Or less, if you don’t like them. I can assure you the more the fucking merrier. Toss the garlic into the blender.
Take your cilantro and mince it up nice and good. I like to mince it very fine before adding it into the blender.
Take your jalapeno peppers (btw you fucking foreigners and yanks its pronounced hah-le-peenyo not fucking juhlapenohs or even hah-lepeeno) jeeesus christ. Anyway, take the jalepeno and cut the end off and slice it into thin slices. Make sure you do not lose a single god damn seed out of there as that is what helps make it hot. Toss those slices into the blender.
Take your habenaro peppers and slice the ends off, then down the middle and then down the middle again. DO NOT LOSE the seeds! This is critical in making DBAP Salsa. After cutting up the peppers it is a good idea to rub your fingers in your eyes and face. Also if anyone is around you try to rub your fingers into their eyes for added lulz. Toss the habeneros into the blender as well. (side note: If you are a huge fucking vag and can’t handle anything hot but still wanna make the salsa you can leave the habeneros out of the recipe. I would recommend trying just one at first if you are a pussy. You will probably like it!)
Poor in the lime juice to your taste, but don’t be stingy with it. You can use as much as ½ a cup really. Now take the jar of sliced jalapenos and add about a ¼ of a cup of the juice from the jar.
Add the salt to your taste, but a lot of salt is good. Now blend all that shit up and give it hell.
Next, take the tomatoes and prepare them by slicing the ends of both sides. Cut them once down the middle and then down the inside middle again. Toss them into the blender.
Add in the ½ cup of tomato sauce or juice into the blender then blend away. You will see when its done.
The whole recipe takes about 5-10 minutes at the most and will entertain massive amounts of party guests if you make more. This server is good for 1-2 people of if you are just snacking will last you a few days.