promoted 7 years 3 months ago, posted 7 years 3 months ago
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funnily enough theyre not all michael jackson jokes...
I bought this new radio for my car. Its sick! When I say "rap!" it plays rap music. When i say "House!" it plays house music, but this morning I was driving and some kids ran in front of my car - i almost killed them and i screamed "FUCKING KIDS!" and my radio played michael jackson.
Did ya hear what they're going to do with MJ's aches??? Put them in an Etch-a-Sketch so little kids can play with him for a change
Just seen that MJ is to bring out an 'ultra-exclusive one of a kind limited edition box-set' next week. Why they can't just call it a coffin I don't know.
Why did MJ like fucking twenty-five year olds??? Cuz there's 20 of em
Michael Jackson represented everything that was good about America. Where else in the world could you be born a poor, black child and grow up to be a rich, white woman?
Michael Jackson walks into a bar..... Nah! Does he fuck! He's dead.
How did M J make his victim cry again, wiping his shitty cock on their Teddy Bear's ear!!
whats the difference between alex fergerson & whacko??? Fergie will be playing giggs in august
Michael Jackson has died aged 50. In spirit of recycling, he will be melted down into plastic party cups, so kids can still get their lips around his rim.
Fwd: Jockeys @ all tomorrows meetings will wear black armbands out of respect for Jacko who successfully rode more 3 year olds than anyone in memory
Michael jacksons dying wish was to be melted down and made into plastic bags so he could still be a danger to small children
Janet Jackson approaches funeral director to sort out details of Michael's burial, 'First things first' she says, 'Do you take plastic?!'
Michael jacksons family were looking through his phone in the hope to find some celebrity friends to sing at his funeral. They dialled the number for boyz 2 men but it turned out to be a delivery service!
Official! Bubbles is now the 2nd richest monkey in the world after didier drogba
Michael jackson as just been refused entry into heaven.... Dont blame it on the sunshine.............. Dont blame it on the moonlight................... Dont blame it on the good times................. Blame it on the buggery.
Mj died doing somethink he love.
With bubbles comming out of his mouth.
Reports of jacko having a heart attack are false. He was found in a childrens home having a stroke.
Michael jackson has died at home in front of his kids! Reports say its not the first time the kids have seen him stiff
Michael jackson has died of a heart attack after hearing that boys2men are a boyband and not a delivery service.
advice for new immigrants in the UK..........if you are trapped in a burning house or have been seriously injured and you are bleeding to death....the new emergency number is : 089845457687542343446889678647657585675643535758689879789753243214234687980790678676534353466879869689563524353464575786797807
I've just had BNP leader Nick Griffin on the phone following the egg throwing outside Parliament last night.
He was absolutley fucking fuming.
They didn't separate the whites first....
What do Ricky Hatton and Gary Glitter have in common ?
They both went down after tryin to take a little Philipino in the ring !
3 tortoises: Jim, Ray and Geoff go for a picnic 10 miles from where they live. It takes them 10 days to get there and when they get there, they find they have forgotten the bottle opener! Jim and Ray ask Geoff to fetch it but Geoff says 'fuck off, by the time I get back you will have eaten all the sandwiches' Jim and Ray promise not to eat the sandwiches so Geoff agrees to go. 10 days pass and Geoff has not returned. 20 days pass and he has still not returned and Jim and Ray are fuckin starvin, but keep there promise not to eat the sandwiches. 25 days pass and Jim and Ray say 'fuck it! we're gonna starve if we dont eat.' As they start to eat the sandwiches, Geoff jumps from behind a rock and shouts 'I fuckin knew it, you bastards! I'm not goin now
Tall building on fire with people trapped inside, Paddy is stood on the pavement and shouts "jump i'll catch you! Woman jumps and he catches her, then a man jumps and is also caught, then a black man jumps but hits the pavement, Paddy looks up and shouts "don't bother throwing out the burnt ones"
Someone once said that when a black man becomes President of the USA pigs would fly...
Sure enough 100 days later "swine flew"
Paddy rings his wife and tells her he's running out of petrol and is scared to stop at the garage for fear of the swine flu. She said its in mexico you fucking idiot not texaco
They say you can only get swine flu if youve been in contact with a infected pig recently................I bet Jack tweed is shitting himself.