My story of a chick I met who desperatly wanted to marry me and have dirty intercourse. Alas it didn't work out because Scobiewan called her up and started trying to get me and her to have a 55some with him and his bird. Damn you ScobieStalker.
At first she seemed nice enough. Although she used drugs like a fiend when I knew her years ago. Now she said she had quit all that. She wanted a new start and a family. I thought this was pretty fucking awesome. As after years with a chick who seemingly hated me like a Jew to Hitler, and then loving me like a Jew loves Pickles, I was too emotionally damaged to start a relationship from the start. So despite her nails on chalkboard attempts at intimacy I figured it was a good chance for me to make things good. Before I get into it though allow me to give some background.
It started years previous really. We were both younger, stronger, thinner, and probably more intelligent. This girl had a bad case of hoop dreams or whatever equivalent you can apply to someone who wants, badly to be a celebrity. She pursued this shit at the expense of all the relationships around her, as in her mind she was better than everyone. Not a typical girl but an undiscovered celebrity if you will. This was okay for a bit but eventually took a bad turn. I am not sure when it got bad I just know it did. See to me she was always a bit off, but I liked it. Then people started saying she had a bad drug problem. Well this didn’t seem right to me. Still isn’t since drugs were not the problem but it was all attitude. I know people say this aboot every drug addict but in this case it was a bit further than most. Whether this was by her own conscious doing or a true unrelated product I know not. I do know it was there though. I continued in my ignorant bliss until at last one night she came by my work when I was done. We were all ready to go out when she pulled out a shit load of coke. Well all of a sudden I saw that it was true. Not a big deal to me really. I always heard the shit people spewed aboot drugs and how they will make your head spin, liver bleed, and anally rape you all at once. To me though it was just so much white powder. I figured she just used it as a courage boost or an excuse to hang out with me. She seemed pretty cool for a bit, and I figured that the allure of drugs would eventually fade so we could live together in mother fucking lala land. Well as you sick fucks reading this would hope it didn’t quite work out like that. Although to my credit I was still right. The drugs were not the major problem, and when you are dealing with shit like coke that is saying something. So eventually she started having useless lesbian relations, and continuing drugs for a long time more. By this time though I was already pushed out of her life through the one constant that she always maintained. Selfishness. Okay fags I’m gonna start a new paragraph now. You wanna know why. I’ll fucking tell you why. Cuz it’s my fucking blog and that’s just how it is.
Anyway flash forward a bit. We had lost touch for a bit. We then met again through a mutual friend. Not to mutual though because this chick loved to burn people like Hitler loved to burn Jews. Her attitude of believing herself better than everyone had been maintained through all this time. Anyway. That’s neither her nor there. So quit distracting me and let me tell the damn story. We met for a drink and things went well. Although she called suddenly and I was pretty plastered as I didn’t have time to prepare and pretend that I wasn’t a no good smelly drunk. Despite all that and my crazed drunken ramblings things seemed to go okay. She said she was gonna fix me, and that she wanted a family. Although the way she said she wanted a family was nothing less than forced. I could see the mental blocks in her mind, and somehow the things holding her back. Although to me they were shadows. Blurred and in no way clear. They blocked the light though like shadows will. I was to speculate aboot whether her gayness was due to these things that were unseen to me. Also maybe it is the case with most gays. I mean kinky sex is cool and I will never be a prude and tell people it’s morally wrong. It’s just that it’s a dead end behaviour. Push the adoption shit all you want. It’s not the major focus of the life style and that is what makes all the difference. She told me aboot her bad relationships where they both had black eyes. This shocked me at that time, because I’ve been with a chick for years who seems to want me to hit her everyday of her life. Now I realize though that this relationship was likely with another woman. So the hits were on more of an even level. She portrayed herself as someone who wanted to leave abusive style relationships when really all her long lasting relationships were probably with woman also.
Now things went good that night. I attempted to sex her up unsuccessfully but whatever we were gonna meet the next Saturday. Anyway Saturday came and no call. Suddenly all her responsibility had been dropped and she was back into junky mode. I talked to one of her friends and I guess she did this a lot to people. So being of a paranoid mindset I figured she was back on tha dope. She did eventually call and I let her past crap go. We talked and were gonna go out in the morning. SO I phoned her the previous night and there was no answer. Phone in the morning and no answer. I even waited til the afternoon to send her nasty messages. Her only respond to this was that she was busy. Well I`m busy also and I just sat waiting for you for 5 hours. Gotta love how people actually think that`s an excuse for massively selfish behaviour, especially in an age when you can get a cellphone that doubled as an anal suppository.
Anyway I got a bit off topic but the point is that drugs start with underlying issues. Also when people choose a gay lifestyle. Sometimes as much as you may hate it. It can be due to mental issues as in this poor girls case. She left all her mental baggage on her head for so long while she was munching carpet that she failed to see the big picture. There is more to life then a cheap thrill which is all that gay sex is for the most part. I mean sure you have a connection but is a dude pounding another dudes ass really gonna give them a better understanding of each other? I think not. A lot of it stems from our culture retarded obsession with the belief that all love is right. Well Rudolf Hess loved killing Jews. How right was that? So to all you guys thinking of marrying a lesbian. Think twice. Unless she lets you get involved of course.